Dinwiddie County Fair / Susan G Komen & Massey Cancer Center Booth

With Karen before we began...it was SO hot...wowza

Last night I got to work my first event with Susan G. Komen out in the community. I worked at a vendor information booth alongside my new friend Karen Gregory, who is the Community Health education Coordinator for the VCU Massey Cancer Center. She knew a LOT of information that i learned from her, not just about breast cancer but about cancer in general, and some of the ways that Massey and other organizations who partner with Susan G. Komen (ones like the Virginia Breast Cancer Foundation, who I also support) are reaching people who otherwise might not get to see a doctor in the more rural areas.

This fair was a good example of that, despite the lower attendance being a weeknight for the fair, we still spoke to 2 or 3 dozen different individuals about the programs available after inviting them to "spin the wheel for prizes" (Burt's Bees lipgloss ladies!). It was a great way to break the ice and I got the chance to speak to several caregivers as well as another fellow survivor and many younger ladies who didn't even know what some of the signs to watch for were. I really have to say that a low stress, fun approach like this definitely allows some people to feel comfortable enough to ask questions. And that's what it's really all about..

I know...it looks funny, right? But I was actually sharing my story of how I first discovered my tumor myself with a caregiver who has had quadruple bypass surgery himself! It reminded me that not only do we need to support our survivors and the recently diagnosed, but earnestly recognize & thank those who look after us, support us and care for us as well...often times while having to face their own medical challenges too!

Passionately Pink Part Deux....

If he's man enough to wear the crown to help fight cancer, aren't you? 

Tomorrow I will get to volunteer and work my very first event as an official Susan G. Komen Educator, something which means a LOT to me as I've been volunteering off and on for several years with the Race for the Cure and many other yearly events in Virginia and North Carolina as well.

I also help out with the annual "Fall Bra-Zaar", this will be our 3rd one and one of our biggest fundraisers is the Mr. Brazaar pageant. Believe it or not, my husband posed to be their inaugural "Miss-ter", in a crown and banner no less...but on a motorcycle. As you can tell, he's pretty manly so this really was as much support as any gal could hope for!

What's so special is this fundraiser honors Denys Musselman who passed away of Triple Negative breast cancer. Her life helps others in this wonderful event.
you can find it on Facebook here:

https://www.facebook.com/events/415104278594187/                It will be held October 5th

Now that's devotion ladies! Doesn't he look awesome helping us out for a good cause? ;) 

Working with these events led me to be invited to join a training program & seminar for Susan G. Komen Educators. These women go out into the community at different events such as fairs, women's shows, galas, luncheons...you name it....and not only have the fun of awarding out prizes at table games but more importantly, help women find literature and connection to the programs that can help them most. Whether that's finding a low-cost screening option, getting a referral for financial assistance, or just learning more about what we do (and still don't) know about breast cancer, it's a wonderful opportunity to reach out to others like myself who might not have known who to ask or maybe didn't really think about being pro-active about their health and following up on their own breast care. 

Some of us were survivors, I would say about half, and the rest were from the medical community and a few were relatives of survivors. Every single one had a personal link however connecting them to the cause which made for not a dry eye in the room as we went around to learn about our new sisters in volunteer work. One lady who spoke was a 60+ year old survivor TWICE OVER...which gives even me hope should mine return that I too, could beat it as she did. There were several survivors younger than myself and I remember 12 years ago feeling it was only me that was that young and scared. But more and more women are having the courage to reach out and give support to others through that journey and that's nothing short of inspiring as we work towards a world where our daughters (and our sons, for they too can get it....did you know approximately 35-40 men a YEAR are diagnosed just in Virginia??) can wake up to a day where they won't have to have an annual walk for the cure because it's already THERE. 

Out and About!

Well in honor of my 42nd birthday today, I got an evening to actually sit down and post again~something I've been waiting to do for awhile now!

As Mrs. Central Virginia International, I've been invited to a lot of different events which have been SO much fun to volunteer at. It's hard to say which one has been the best but I would probably have to go with judging the WV Roadkill Festival Pageant!

I know, right? I had NO idea either this was a real competition but not only is this a very honored title in Marlinton, WV where this event is held, but the Roadkill Festival itself draws tens of THOUSANDS of attendees annually! I was very impressed with the amount of contestants we had, from Little Miss on up (I judged the pre-teen and older group, my daughter Alanna who is Miss Relay For Life judged both events since the pageant was split up into differing segments) to Miss Roadkill Festival herself, a beautiful and vivacious blond gal named Allie who stunned us from the get-go with her proficiency in interview and solid knowledge of her community and the festivals and history that go with it. One little girl even taught us a recipe with groundhog and ramps!

It was a fantastic event and we were treated like royalty and got the chance to see a part of the world we hadn't been to before but that I love all the more for having been able to experience 3 days with the people and the pageant itself. Director Shana Smith really did a terrific job with great prizes and making all the contestants a queen in their own right when they stepped on the stage on finals night.

Here on the left is Miss WV Roadkill Festival 2014 Allie Katarina Cole along with my daughter Alanna ;) Good luck Allie during your year!

Of course there have been a lot of other opportunities, not including my most recent one to become a Susan G. Komen Educator (that will be on an upcoming post!), that I was fortunate enough to be invited to as well as honored to be a part of. Here was one in Salisbury, Maryland where I served as a judge for the America's Brilliant Miss pageant as well as an earlier preliminary pageant that morning. Pictured with my daughter and I is Kimberly Sumner Williams, one of the new queens for ABM. One of the outgoing queens, Gigi Giganto (she is my Mini-Me #2 as I call her! I love this girl!) joined us for the photo which I thought came out fantastic given we all got the "memo" on what colors to wear!

With the ABM queens in Salisbury, MD! 

Here we are with one of the younger contestants,
she was the sweetest child and had the best smile all day!

One of the most terrific things about making appearances is getting to share "girl time", (even though these are WORKING events!) with my daughter Alanna. She too is a hard-working queen and has made a terrific year so far of holding her Miss Relay For Life title for Virginia. She rushed and was chosen for Alpha Xi Delta sorority, and as many of you might know, interview skills come in handy not just in pageants but in life as she found out during Rush Week. Yet because of her past experiences she was able to navigate the process with confidence. Not only that, she recently placed 4th runner up for the Miss DC Collegiate America title and Mom (aka her coach) couldn't be prouder!

Above you can see us taking a...you guessed it.... 'selfie' (LOL!) at the Curly Q pageants here in Richmond, VA where I served as the hostess and emcee and Mini-Me had fun doing what she does best, judging the little ones. One thing I love about her is that she's competed a lot herself so she understands as a judge just how important a kind word and constructive tip on how a contestant can do better is the best way to help a girl prepare to win the crown next time around. How amazing at only 18 she's already learned that? Think about that the next time someone thinks "Toddlers & Tiaras" represents anything at *all* about the REAL world of pageantry! A picture is worth a thousand words and I think the one below says it all about the friendships made in the journey to the crown :)

With Amy Berry, Ms Warren County and one of my DEAREST pageant sisters! 

My Passion for Pink!

Most everyone who meets me through my volunteer work with Rikki's Refuge knows I am a huge animal lover and rescue advocate. Compassion for those weaker and more helpless than ourselves is the most supreme of human virtues in my opinion. But one thing some people who know me may *not* know is that not only is my mother a breast cancer survivor but that I, too, am a survivor of 12 years.

My story began innocently enough with me finding a lump in my right breast that just didn't seem "right".  Like many women, I ignored it for a little while. I knew it would be a hassle with insurance and doctors anyway. It wasn't until my husband (at the time my fiance') INSISTED I see a doctor about it that I learned this was a lot more serious than just a little discomfort.

With fellow queens at the Relay For Life Franklin County Walk 

My regular physician referred me to an oncologist but by that time the "lump" I had was progressing in size. I started off with an initial diagnosis of DCIS and wound up with a stage 2a sized tumor being excised from my body in May of 2001. This is where the insurance industry failed me...between the delays in testing and authorizing the surgery, I lost a lot of time waiting. I had BEGUN my quest to find out what was wrong back in January that year. Being only 29 at the time, my PPO would not pay for a needed diagnostic mammogram OR ultrasound. Even though my physician could clearly feel what I was talking about too, I wound up being put through a horribly painful biopsy and subsequent surgery that took place much later than it should have been. All because the carrier didn't want to pay for an $800 test which I wound up paying out of pocket for to confirm if my suspicions were correct. Only after I took charge of my health did I receive the referral I needed to have surgery.

This made me mad.

I began to wonder, how many other mothers of young children were facing the same fears? Challenges with the insurance process? Need for medical care they couldn't afford either? Mind you I was a divorced mother of a 2nd grader who desperately needed her mommy to raise her. I couldn't afford to be selfish and ignore the symptoms any longer when I realized it wasn't about me anymore.

Over the years since, I have worked with various events to help raise awareness and most importantly, funds as well, to change this reality. The law has changed in Virginia to allow for more coverage and hopefully steps will continue to be made to address the "Medicaid Donut Hole" which is the group of women (and men) too rich for Medicaid but too poor to afford the cost of copays (or even entire services) against what it takes to survive. Most are the "working poor" and I was once one of them. An $800 test is simply unrealistic when you make $30,000 a year with kids. Even a $250 copay is pretty much the same.

What to do? Well for one thing, I recently went to visit with legislators at the State Capitol to discuss with a group of like-minded supporters the need for more funding for these women, ESPECIALLY for diagnostic tests. When I had my test done we learned what I could feel represented only about 1/3 of what was really going on deep in my body. Too many times when a woman physically feels a tumor, it's progressed and too late to stop without multiple rounds of chemo, if at all. I was incredibly lucky.

No woman's life should be reduced just to a matter of being lucky.

So in addition to my passion for animal rescue, I work with Susan G. Komen volunteering at races and events as well as support the Virginia Breast Cancer Foundation in their awesome work. This is my platform that led me to compete and win in the Pink Queens For Life pageant. I conclude a year of service as their Survivor Ambassador this week and the journey has taken me to meet so many other women with similar stories. Survivors in their 20's and 30's, considered "too young" to be at risk. My daughter Alanna, who I am beyond proud of, is this year's Miss Relay For Life and has volunteered at numerous events alongside me to help champion the cause for a cure. With a grandmother, great aunt and mother having had this condition, she may one day be at risk herself and we plan to test for the BRCA gene. At 18 she faces the possibility of the same fears I had to meet head on because we don't have the answers yet.

It's not a legacy I'm willing to leave her.
And that's why I'm Passionately Pink about a world without cancer.

Pink Queens For Life Survivor Ambassador 2012
It's been a wonderful honor to be your representative! 

Time For Updates!

So much has happened since my last blog post! After crowning my successor at East Coast USA, I decided to enter the Mrs. Virginia International pageant that February. I competed in Roanoke, VA where I won the Interview and Onstage Question portions of the pageant, placing 1st runner up! Below are two photos I took from the event:

Amber Wandtke, the new Mrs. Virginia International competes this week in Chicago...so as her 1st runner up, I'm keeping my fingers crossed! Either way, I know she'll do great and represent the Commonwealth well. :) Here's a link to her blog as she continues her journey: http://www.amberwandtke.com/ 

Just a few months later, I was approached by the Susan G. Komen organization to attend a taping of the new show "Total Divas" with the WWE Divas as one of the local survivors being interviewed for the series! Being a total WWE fan already (I served as a ring valet for the Iron Sheik for a match back when I was Miss Virginia Galaxy 2002...good times!), this was a truly thrilling experience! 

I was able to meet two other survivors whose stories were also compelling and I think the taping reflected us in a great light while bringing attention to the need for affordable testing and early detection, part of my Passionately Pink platform I've been working with for years. Here are some photos from the taping...the series debuts this month so keep an eye out for E! TV...the link to our interview on their website is here: https://community.wwe.com/hope/gallery/divas-meet-susan-g-komen-honorees-richmond-va-photos

Every Ending is Someone Else's New Beginning

The Queen's Final Tea with the outgoing 2012 crew...

This past weekend I traveled to Portsmouth for a bittersweet but happy moment...I went to the VA State East Coast USA finals to crown my successor as my reign is over and another young lady's about to begin. I had planned to go down for the day to help out and crown when I received a call the night before that a judge had gotten ill with the flu and asking if I wouldn't mind filling in to judge the pageant?

Of course I said yes, knowing how much hard work these ladies put into winning these events and it was a wonderful pageant. We saw gorgeous girls from as young as 5 months up to age 22...I'll admit I was a *little* disappointed that there weren't any "over 40" gals like myself this time around but the quality of the competition was fabulous nonetheless! Shows like Toddlers & Tiaras really don't do justice to the fantastic systems like ECUSA that encourage every girl to be their best and reward BOTH participation AND success onstage. I think you need both to help the contestants grow...participation awards reward the courage it takes just to even get on stage for some newer contestants, and the higher titles and crowns encourage ongoing improvement. It really is a win-win situation for those competing.

Here are a few photos, one was with Mr. Tim our emcee (The Voice of Pageants!) who had been helping me with tips to improve my performance as a pageant & event hostess and the other was a group shot where one of the moms caught me trying to get everyone organized for the group shot! Think of "cat herding" with the little ones and the bright lights and you get the picture LOL!

Congrats to all the winners this weekend and esp to Summer Fant, who I crowned as my successor for the Pro Supreme title for Virginia! I hope she has a wonderful year!

With Mr. Tim Whitmer, the "Voice of Pageants" after a long day working together!

Catching our last little lady before she runs off for the final photo! We managed to get a great group shot though :) 

2013 Breast Cancer Lobby Day at the Capitol

Yesterday I had the honor of attending the annual Breast Cancer Lobby day at the Capitol with the Virginia Breast Cancer Foundation as an advocate and spokesperson. What an interesting experience! We met up at 9am to discuss the pending vote on Medicaid Expansion and the Every Woman's Life initiatives and then broke off into small groups to go one-on-one with various delegates of the House and Senate to talk about the upcoming vote and our position in general. Here I am with two of my friends while we were waiting to be recognized during the House meeting:

With Dana & Lynda, from the Fall BraZaar  team

This wasn't a "glamorous" event, we had work to do. Luckily my group got the pleasure of meeting with the Speaker of the House Delegate Howell who it turns out has a wife who is also a breast cancer survivor and a very passionate supporter of programs to help women in similar situations. It was absolutely humbling to be able to share my own story about the gap in our healthcare and insurance that I faced 12 years ago and to in turn hear from my elected representative the things he's done and plans to do to help prevent just that sort of thing from happening in the future. One thing I learned is we've come a LONG way just in 10 years in caring for the newly diagnosed and reaching lower-income woman...but the other side of the coin is that death rates aren't declining nearly as fast.

To relate, my own story is that I was a divorced single mom, only 29, when a suspicious lump that I'd been wondering about began to get larger. My fiance (now husband) at the time encouraged me to go get checked out. I did but my insurance would not pay for a definitive mammogram, citing I wasn't 40 yet and the odds of it being anything other than fibrocycstic were slim. This mind you with a mother who has had a mastectomy and a great-aunt who died from breast cancer.

I put off my exam for almost 3 months, I didn't have $800 out of pocket. Finally at my fiance's insistance I put it on a credit card and sure enough, there was a tumor. Well at that point the insurance decided they might pay something after a needle biopsy confirmed findings. I had an excision 2 weeks later but by this time what started as DCIS was progressing towards Stage I. I had a tumor the size of a "golf ball" per the surgeon, one very close to my lymph nodes under my arm.

I was lucky. They caught it in time. But how many women in similar circumstances HAVE a credit card to put $800 on? Why should they have to? And more importantly, how many may have died from metastatic cancer who had they been able to afford the diagnostic screening caught it in time instead? I "did everything right" and did my self-exams and yet the system initially failed me.

That is unacceptable, to let poorer women die in America, waiting for care that could save them.

It was because of this I decided to attend this event and I have worked with various organizations to further not only awareness but research into this deadly disease. The expansion of the Medicaid Act in Virginia if delayed will cost our state $5 million dollars a DAY in lost Federal funds, something that could literally spell the difference between staying open and closing hospital doors in rural counties. Sad to say, the more remote areas like Tazewell, Rappahannock, Mecklenburg take the hit much more than even those in inner-city Richmond and the surrounding areas.

We got to speak with five delegates before being recognized on the House floor by Delegate McQuinn, also a survivor herself. Five more voices hopefully for those who don't have one right now until a cure is found. To learn more, visit this wonderful organization at www.vcbf.org